(Derek had been able to buy the place with a short-term loan from NASA, his new employer. He had less than a month to pay it back.)
The guys also swung by the town realty office and picked up the keys for the other 3 houses that were for sale in the neighborhood. After dropping off their supplies at Derek's new house, they checked out the other places while there was still daylight.
They started at the old, boxy house on the canal. "Okay, let's go in and see this dump, and get it over with!" Derek exclaimed.
"You're forgetting you STILL don't have a bathroom in that defective house you just spent forty grand on," Bill reminded him. "And unless I put one in, you're not GOING to have a bathroom!"
They entered the old farmhouse. "Oh, this is a REAL prize!" Derek remarked sarcastically. "There aren't even any appliances."
The three went upstairs.
"There isn't anything up here, either," observed Dude.
"Hey, less to demolish!" Bill said cheerfully. "And it's only $14,500!"
They headed on to the "Glass Box" house. "It's not much from the outside, is it?" Derek asked.
"Maybe not from THAT side," said Bill. "But from THIS side, it's pretty spectacular!"
"And at least they've taken that plastic film off the windows," he observed.
They went inside. "This is unbelievable," they all murmured, almost in unison.
"Very artsy," Derek said, looking at the kitchen.
"We should tell Peter about this place," Dude said. "The light is INCREDIBLE. Hey, I'D take this place if I were a painter!"
"Yeah, let's remember you just bought a NO-bedroom, NO-bath!," Bill countered. "And for about the same price as THIS place is."
Dude did not, for the life of him, understand why Derek and Bill were so competitive with each other, because the two men were nothing alike.
Derek was a straight-laced, by-the-book, corporate-type of guy, whereas Bill was a live-off-the-land, free-wheeling, non-traditional type of guy.
'I just don't get it,' he thought. "Okay, " he sighed, "let's go see the last house."
"Decent starter kitchen, and unlike the 'Glass Box' house, there's a bit of outdoor space," Bill said.
The guys walked across the street to Derek's new house, where the plumbing fixtures had been delivered.
"I'm really digging this whole 'toilet in the middle of the living room' aesthetic," Dude teased.
"Come on, guys," Bill said. "Let's get going. First thing, we pop in a small window here."
After the window, Bill and Derek put up a wall, then muscled the new shower stall into place. Dude had resisted doing anything that he thought might damage his hands. "I'll unwrap stuff--but I'm NOT using a boxcutter--and I'll clean stuff, but I'm not risking my guitar career!"
"This is looking a little cramped," Derek complained.
"Dude, I TOLD you--it's just temporary!" said Bill, exasperated. "Once you put in a second floor, you can move the shower up there and make this a powder room."
"I sure wish you guys would stop saying 'dude' unless you're actually talking to me," Dude complained.
After the shower, the toilet and sink went in,
then another wall,
then the bathroom door.
"Okay, if we're done for today, I've got to go," Dude announced. "I've got a date."
"Uhhh, with a human?" Derek asked.
"Even better," Dude enthused. "With Zoe Patel--she's a musician, and gorgeous. AND GREEK!!!"