"Alice!," the blonde shrieked. "What on earth is going on???" Alice rushed to hug the girl, who looked very relieved.
"I'm just SOOOOOO glad I found you!," the girl exclaimed. "And you tell me RIGHT NOW, Alice, what's going on!," she demanded.
"Look, Kelly, don't make a scene, okay?," Alice begged. "Please just sit down here and talk to me."
The two girls took seats at the bar. Bartender Robin wondered how much worse her night was going to get. ("It's not like I make much in tips here, anyway, because the economy's so crappy. But the last thing I need is two whiney women depressing all the guys at my bar!")
"Alice, not one of your friends has heard from you for an entire day!," Kelly said, breathless, and sounding somewhat panicked.
She continued. "You sent me a text that you had to leave town, then another one that you're on the road, then another one that your car broke down, and then another one that you're at some bar in some town you don't know! And if it hadn't been for my GPS I couldn't even have found you! WHAT IS GOING ON???"
"Okaaaaay," Alice said slowly. "You're not going to like this, Kelly, but--I've kinda been messing around with 'That Guy' for a while, and he let me live in that house where I've been living all year. But his wife found out about it, and said she'd divorce him and take half his stuff. So, he dumped me and kicked me out of the house."
Kelly started to cry. (Kelly was very emotional, and could always be depended upon to start weeping for almost any reason, though Alice's current predicament was in fact a REALLY good reason to cry.)
"Please calm down, Kelly!," Alice pleaded. "You're making a scene in a bar, and that's not like you!"
Kelly wiped her eyes and looked at her friend squarely. "You're telling me you've been having an affair with a married man."
"In so many words, yes," Alice answered, abject. Kelly clutched her forehead.
"I thought everybody knew," Alice said, lamely.
"Well, you're the only one," Alice remarked. "I gotta pee", she said, getting up from the bar.
Kelly got off her barstool to hug Alice again.
"Alice, honey, it's not too late for you!," Kelly cried. "You can still change your life!"
Lou and Regina parked Lou's car outside some place called the "Blue Velvet" nightclub (that they'd found by GPS).
They had argued most of the way in the car and, as they were approaching the front door of the bar, Lou rounded on her companion and roared, "I am TIRED of this crap, Regina!"
"Whoa, Lou!," Regina exclaimed. "Calm down--we don't even know what's going on here yet!"
"I'm tired of the 'Alice Act'," Lou yelled. "I'm tired of bailing her out of jail, I'm tired of bailing her out of the drunk tank. And I CERTAINLY don't want anything to do with the story we've heard today--that 'That Guy' was cheating on his wife with Alice and put her up in that house!"
Regina, always good-natured and reasonable, said, "Look, Lou, let's just go talk to Alice and see what's going on. I think Kelly's here by now, so that should help."