Friday, January 2, 2015

#66: Baby Rumors

"Hey, babe!" Bill called as he walked through the gate mid-afternoon.

"I guess the movers finally came for the cupcake machine," Regina observed.  (She had been out collecting seeds again, but was now back home tending her plants.)

"Yeah," Bill replied, "it's now cluttering up Kelly's backyard, along with Derek's big-ass microscope.  And our new grill was delivered today,

 and so was 'our' new bar."

The couple had decided that, since Alice had been promoted to Head Mixologist at her job, and needed to practice making drinks every day, they would buy a bar for their house.

Given Alice's unfortunate drinking binge at Derek and Kelly's wedding reception, Regina and Bill figured it would be safer for Alice to practice at home, rather than go to the Blue Velvet Lounge every night.

"Lose a cupcake machine, gain a bar!" Regina remarked philosophically.

"So what's your next project?" she asked.

"I think the downstairs powder room.  We always have to flush that old, decrepit toilet at least three times.  And who knows how long Alice, and/or Dude, are going to be living with us, and we really need another functioning bathroom."

Alice left for her job at 6:00.  "Thanks for the new bar, guys!" she said.

Regina was talking to an apple tree she had just planted outside the kitchen windows,

while Bill dragged the old, broken powder room fixtures out to the lawn.

He went to find Regina.

"Hey, babe, anything you want to tell me?" he asked, coming up behind her.

"Such as what?" Regina asked him.

"Well, when I dismantled the old, decrepit toilet, I couldn't help noticing that someone had obviously vomited in there today," he explained.

"Well, aren't YOU a sweet talker!" Regina laughed.

'I just thought ... you might ... be pregnant..." he said, sounding hopeful.

"Believe me, Bill," Regina answered, "if I were pregnant, you'd be the first to know!  After me, of course."

"Well, if it wasn't YOU," surmised Bill, "and I sure know it wasn't me, and Dude is away on tour, then...."

Regina said nothing.


That evening, Bill busied himself removing the old door to the powder room, replacing the window, and refinishing the floor,

and Regina added some curtains, pillows, and another rug to the living room.


Bill had gone upstairs to craft a toilet for the powder room.

"I'll stay up to talk to Alice," Regina told him.


Regina had fallen asleep in front of the TV,

by the time Alice got home from work.  'What is up with the toilet being out here?' Alice wondered.

"What happened to the bathroom???" Alice asked Regina. 

"And I'm guessing I can't use this toilet???"

"No," Regina said, "Bill can't install the new toilet till the floor dries tomorrow.  Hey, I'm starved--want some food?"

"So, anything you'd like to tell me?" Regina asked Alice, as the two sat down to some leftover Lobster Thermidor.

 "Like what?" Alice asked innocently.

"Alice, it's late, and I'm tired, and I get up at 5:00 a.m.," Regina said flatly.  "So, spill."

Alice visibly deflated.

"Okay, I had sex with Dude after the wedding, and I think I might be pregnant."

Custom content:

Thanks to:

severinka for the two sofa pillows

severinka for the chair pillow


  1. When Lou finds out she will put Alice down even more. I hope things work out for Alice.

  2. Yes, Angela, there's definitely some "Lou management" in order....