Friday, January 22, 2016

#161: Lana's Laments


Lana--having been convinced by her friend, Zoe, to "take it easy" in her approach to dating the handsome and gentlemanly Cristobal--had instead thrown herself into her detective job.

She was doing okay at the police department, mostly because she was fearless in the face of unpleasant situations.

Lana enjoyed going out on patrol.  Sometimes neighborhoods that outwardly looked quite peaceful were in fact hotbeds of altercations and assault, and this gave her ample opportunities to exercise her "Mean" trait.

Lana was also "Insane," and this trait came in handy during interrogations.  Her "Bad Cop" moves were the subject of much discussion around the station house.

But, unfortunately for someone with Lana's personality, a truly successful and long-term career in the police department required more than just being tough and unpleasant.

She was regularly called on the carpet by Chief Crespo for her antisocial behavior toward her colleagues,

and had also been informed that she needed to be in better physical shape to meet department standards.

"You can either do this on your own, Moriarty," the Chief had warned her, "or you can go into a SUPERVISED program.  Weekly weigh-ins and fitness tests for you either way, so you'd better start getting some results!"

So, in an effort to avoid being part of a group--which Lana hated--she grudgingly decided to "suck it up," and started going to the gym in Oasis Springs.

She considered working out "beyond boring," and was annoyed that she was being forced to do it.

Some workouts went better than others....


She went over to Zoe's house for dinner one evening after several hours of exercise.

Zoe was always delighted to see her friend, especially when Rafael was away on business (as he had been often lately).

"You look thinner already!" she cried.

"Please, Zoe!" Lana implored her.  "Don't compliment me unless it's true!  I'm WAY out of shape, and I need you to help keep me on the right track."

"And I could really use a drink," she went on, "but that might undo all the effort I made this afternoon."

"Don't worry," Zoe said as they walked into Rafael's bar.  "I'll make you a Salty Llama--it's spicy and salty, but not sweet--and I'll use a diet mixer, so there won't be any carbs.  Just some calories."

(Although Zoe didn't have to make any effort to keep her own elfin figure, her boyfriend--the extremely vain Rafael, who had taught Zoe everything she now knew about mixology--was obsessed with staying in shape for his many media appearances.)

Lana caught Zoe up on her woes at work, and on her recent encounters with Cristobal.

"So, you two are just going out for coffee these days?" Zoe asked, sounding slightly disappointed.  (Zoe's measure of a man was how much money he spent on a woman, and that included dinners at expensive restaurants.)

"I'm actually okay with that," Lana insisted.  "I like it that he drops by the police station whenever he's downtown waiting for you or Rafael."

"And," she emphasized, "it means I don't have to obsess about what to wear, because I'm always in my police uniform."

"But you're a pretty girl, and you won't get to 'shine' if you don't get dressed up," Zoe fretted.

"Believe me," Lana assured her, "Cristobal is MUCH more comfortable with me the more covered up I am.  That couldn't have been clearer the other day when I was jogging by the Willow Creek Swim Club--in very skimpy shorts--and he was playing chess with some guy."

"He excused himself from the game and came over to say something complimentary to me about being 'impressively athletic,'

"but it was obvious he was slightly uncomfortable."

"Why was Cristobal at the Willow Lane Swim Club?  Zoe asked, puzzled.  "It's pretty far from where he lives."

"Well, I don't know, really," Lana answered.  "I just assumed that Rafael was somewhere in the vicinity, and that Cristobal was waiting for him."

"But what would RAFAEL be doing on Willow Lane?" Zoe asked, suddenly suspicious.  "Did you see the limo nearby?"

"No," Lana said, "though it didn't occur to me to look for it."  She tried to sound casual, but feared she had blundered by getting Zoe's "jealousy antennae" up.


  1. Lana's boss telling her she needs to lose weight, emm you now the saying Pot calling the kettle black. there is plenty of curvaceous cops out there. lol

  2. You're right, peachy! But Chief Crespo is the chief of police, and I have no control over what NPC shows up in that capacity. So I guess the rules don't apply to "the big boss" who just sits behind a desk every day, as opposed to Lana, who's a beat cop and has to be out on patrol. I love playing Lana.

  3. Now that I've learned more about Lana (insane, mean, and potentially a loner?), I definitely don't want her with Cristobal. He's way too good for her. I'm worried for him.... ~ Lilly P

  4. It's worse than that, Lilly -- Lana's 3rd trait is "Hates Children" (which explains much of her problem with Declan). Cristobal is sensible and well-grounded -- either he will not continue to date Lana, or he will but will be determined he can change her. Don't forget that he doesn't yet know that Declan -- the "illegitimate" child that his good church buddy, Kelly, has taken in -- is Lana's kid. Just wait till he finds out.