and was surprised to find Dude still up.
"Hey, babe!" she greeted him. "Didn't you finish work HOURS ago?"
"I took another gig afterwards, just to make a few extra bucks," he said, getting up to kiss her.
"Besides," he continued, "D3's at my parents' house, anyway, so I thought I'd wait up for you and have my awesome wife all to myself."
They shared a pot of tea, talked about their day,
and went to bed.
"I sure wish I weren't too tired to have sex," Dude said glumly.
"Don't worry about it," Alice said. "I'm too damned tired, too."
Derek and Bill were doing a bit of early morning fishing.
"Let me tell you something," Derek fumed (as Bill hauled in a huge salmon, and -- as usual -- outfished Derek), "if you take that stupid little piece-of-shit asshole camping with you, then you're even more clueless than I thought you were."
"And I'll tell YOU something," Bill replied calmly. "My wife -- whom I adore, and who just gave birth to our son -- ASKED me to take our daughter, and YOUR son, and a couple other kids to Granite Falls for the weekend. So I'm freakin' going to do it! Because that's just how life works!!!"
"And," Bill went on, "MUCH of the reason Regina has asked me to do this is so that YOU can try to repair your marriage with Kelly!"
"But I don't WANT to go on the stupid fucking camping trip!" Declan wailed, enraged.
"Oh, come on, honey," Kelly pleaded. "It could be FUN! Your friend Erin is going, and you get along with D3 and Scout. Please give it a chance -- it's only a couple days or so. And -- also -- PLEASE don't use that kind of language in this house."
"I'm sorry, Kelly," the boy sobbed, "but please don't make me go!"
"I'm NOT making you go, and I would never do that," she reassured the boy, hugging him.
"I love you as much as if you were my own child."
This made Declan even unhappier.
Kelly had of course previously called Declan's mother to ask if he could go on the camping trip.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lana cackled, incredulous (and exhausted from a long day of police work). "Anyone who takes that little piece of shit to the deep woods is probably going to get stabbed by him in the middle of the night!
"And then it will be a CRIME scene, and I'LL have to show up, and that's the LAST thing I fucking want!"