#102: Lana's Parolee

Alice came home from work well after midnight, and stopped to gaze at her sleeping son.

'Hello, little man,' she said quietly.

The baby stirred slightly.

Though he was already asleep, Dude heard Alice when she entered the bedroom that the two of them now shared.

"Oh, hey," he said, sleepily rousing himself.

"No, don't get up," she insisted.  "I have to take a shower anyway--I stink."

"Nonsense," he murmured, sitting down next to her, "you smell like bacon!"

"Which is possibly the best anyone can smell!" he added.

"How was Daedelus tonight?" she asked.

"He was good," Dude assured her.  "He was great during the soccer game, though he didn't seem to care much for the NCAA tournament--but I think that was mostly because Derek came over and kept leaping up out of his chair and shouting and punching the air."

"Sounds like you all had a good time," Alice said.

"Yeah, 'male bonding' stuff, you know," Dude laughed.

_______________

The next morning, Lana was walking to the address that the Chief of Police had given her.

After waking up at Rafael's, she had gone back to her rental house to get some clothes that she thought looked like something a parole officer might wear.  'Maybe I SHOULD go shopping with Zoe,' she thought.

She walked up to the door, knocked,

and backed away.

"Helloooooooo!" the resident greeted her, with obvious delight.  "You're early!!"

"I really like that in a prostitute!!!"

"Mr. Austin, I'm not a prostitute--I'm your parole officer," Lana advised him severely.

"Ooooh, EXCELLENT!" Devin exulted.  "So, that's your 'character'?  Do you have handcuffs with you?--I prefer the fluffy pink ones."

Lana was at that moment very glad that the Chief had okayed her concealed-carry permit application.

"Mr. Austin, may we go inside and talk?"

"Ooooooh--you want to 'interrogate' me!  EXCELLENT!!!"

Devin let Lana into the small, dim house.

"Can I make you a cocktail?" he offered enthusiastically.

"Mr. Austin, it's 10 o'clock in the morning," Lana admonished him.

"What's your point?" Devin asked.

Lana decided to drop the drinking issue.  "Mr. Austin, it's a condition of your parole from Sims FreePlay Town that you refrain from ALL criminal activity--even misdemeanors."

"Ooooh, I'm LOVING the pointy finger thing!" Devin said with glee.  "What nailpolish is that?  Because it looks all serious and stuff."

Lana sighed, but continued.  "Mr. Austin, a local resident reported that you trespassed onto his property and used his pool."

 "Well, of COURSE I did!" Devin cried.  "It's a really great pool!"

 "But that's against the law, Mr. Austin."  Lana tried not to become too exasperated.

"If those people don't want anyone else to swim in their pool, they should put up a fence!" Devin protested.  "It would be MUCH harder for me to climb a fence!!"

_______________

Lana tried to reason with Devin for several more minutes, then decided to leave.  Since Lana was as yet untrained, the Chief of Police had asked her just to try to get a read on the fellow, then report back to him.

"But I don't understand!" Devin wailed, as he saw her heading for the door.  "You haven't even pistol-whipped me or anything!!"

"And when are we supposed to have sex?" he demanded, following her outside.

"You're not getting a tip, you know!" he yelled after her.

"AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A BAD REVIEW ON CRAIGSLIST!!!"